Episode Transcript
[00:00:15] Hello and welcome to Imagine Possibilities. My name is Skip Pogue. This is season 2, episode 5 and is titled Invisible People.
[00:00:27] Who are these invisible people?
[00:00:30] They're individuals in society who go unnoticed, unheard or undervalued.
[00:00:40] They may be physically present, but their struggles, their needs and their existence are overlooked by the majority of people.
[00:00:53] They can include the homeless, people living on the streets or in shelters.
[00:00:59] And they're often ignored by us. By the passerbyers, the elderly, especially those in nursing homes or without families, can oftentimes feel forgotten. People with disabilities, those whose challenges are not always visible, leading to our misunderstanding.
[00:01:23] Service workers, janitors, cashiers, delivery drivers and others who provide essential services but receive very little acknowledgement or recognition.
[00:01:35] The socially isolated, individuals with mental health struggles, autism and other conditions that make social interaction difficult, at very least. Why don't we see them? Sometimes it's because of biases, familiarity. We generally gravitate toward people who look, act and live like us. And because that we oftentimes overlook people that are outside our social circle, we sometimes make assumptions or stereotype people. We label them, put them in boxes. For example, we can say all homeless people are lazy, all disabled people are incapable. And by doing that, it makes it easier for us to just dismiss. We may unconsciously avoid them because we feel like acknowledging them then would make us uncomfortable. So we just avoid it. Another big reason is the fast pace of modern life. We, I think, sometimes live in a hustle culture, you know, where we prioritize getting our work done over connecting with each other. We focus on efficiency and treat people like they're in the background. That's especially true for like cashiers, janitors and security guards. Think about going through the line at Walmart, paying for your groceries or whatever you've purchased. I've been in line and seen people other than getting the money, the change back from the cashier, there's no interaction with. And even when they get the change back, I've seen people not even say thank you or acknowledge they're even there. It's like it's a robot giving it back. Another reason, I guess you could call it digital distraction. It's think about how much time we spend with our cell phone, our smartphone, you know, how much when we're engaged with that smartphone, how much attention we're paying to the people around us. What's going on? I've literally seen pictures and have actually seen it a couple times in person where somebody either walks into a light pole or stop sign or something or comes real close to doing because they're so engrossed with their cell phone smartphone that they're not paying attention to surroundings. It's an interesting thing. I talked, I think it was in the last podcast about my trying to give up my smartphone for an hour a day, literally turn it off, not hold it in my hand, not have it sitting beside me, have it out of sight, out of mind. And I'm doing okay with that. I want to get it up to two hours and eventually I'd like to get it probably double that or maybe spend five or six hours without it. Even though I get some phone calls and some text messages, they're not really that important in 99% of the time. I mean, most of the phone calls I get now are either people trying to sell me a warranty plan for my car, or the newest one is people trying to tell me about a new medical plan that's come out that they start by asking for information like how old are you? Where do you live? You know, and most of the time they're calling from spoofed phone number. They're not really a phone number. And they. I've discovered that in my case since I have an Atlanta prefix phone, although I live in Tennessee because I moved from Atlanta and kept my phone number. Most all of the people calling me have Atlanta prefix because they don't understand where I am. And they'll start out and ask you a question, you say, oh, I don't live there, that's not where I am. But anyway, I digress. Sorry. Another reason is just emotional self preservation. If we don't engage with people that are invisible, then we don't have to face and acknowledge someone's pain. We might feel we are obligated to help, but we don't have to feel that way if we don't acknowledge them. So, you know, it's kind of this, not my monkey, not my problem. There's. I don't want to put this. There are homeless shelter and nursing homes are generally not located in the busiest of area. They're kind of out of sight, out of sight, out of mind. Another problem that I think exists that has to do with the work environment itself. In most facilities there's a hierarchical structure and entry level or service workers are not acknowledged as equals, especially service workers.
[00:06:05] I had an interesting case because I was working in a building in Atlanta for IBM and we had a janitorial service and I had a group of people including some managers and stuff, and we worked three shifts. Occasionally I would go in to meet with the Third shift people and stuff. And of course, at night when most of the janitorial service people were there. And it seemed like every time I went, this one particular gentleman was there. He was emptying waste baskets and making sure the floor was clean stuff. I got to talking to him, wound up. He was a really nice guy and he and I became friends. And every time I went in, I acknowledged it. Well, since we got to be friends, I talked to him about it one day. I said, do a lot of the people, I mean, we've got a staff here. I said, do they talk to you when you're doing your job? I said, you know, if you go up to one of the cubicles where somebody's working in it to empty their waste basket, do they speak to you and acknowledge you're there? And he said, most of them don't. They just, you know, the chair's got rollers, so they just move out of the way so I can get the wastebasket, I empty it in the garbage can, put it back and that's it. So, you know, they felt. He felt ignored by most people, which was really odd because he was a great guy. One of the things I think that happens with us, especially with certain groups of people, especially like the homeless, is we just get inundated, overlooked from the news and the media about tragedy, about, you know, what's going on. We see picture after picture the same thing, and it doesn't change. So I don't know how you fix things like that in our heads. I don't know how we can wrap ourselves around it. Another big question is, how do we view these people? And I think when it comes to viewing them, it really depends on whether we're viewing them through the lens of opinion or the lens of empathy. Both of those are ways to deal with it. And they both require thoughts or allow thoughts and emotions to be involved, but they're really not supposed to be alike. Difference between viewing somebody with an opinion and with empathy is huge. You know, if we looked at an example of an opinion based response to an invisible person, you have to remember opinions are shaped by our personal beliefs, our biases, and by norms. We might judge an invisible person based on their appearance, how they behave or the situation they're currently in without ever considering what experiences they have. You know, an example, we might just say, you know, that guy should get a job. If they worked harder, they wouldn't be in this situation. Well, when you do that, when we do that, we're making a big assumption. It's like I don't think there's an invisible person on the planet. I don't think anybody's homeless. Just decided one day they were working, had a job, had a house and all that stuff. And just one day they said, you know what? I'm tired of this. I'm just going to become homeless. I'm not making a house payment. So they kick me out. I'm quitting my job, and I'm just going to be a homeless person. I don't think there's anybody on the planet that's decided that's what they're going to do now, thinking the same circumstances. If we're empathetic to the situation and respond to an invisible person that way, empathy really revolves around us. Seeing their world, to relate to it. We can see their struggles, and we can recognize that they're human beings. Instead of being judgmental, empathy leads us to be understanding and compassionate. And an example of being empathetic would be, I wonder what challenges led them to the point they're at right now. Maybe they've faced some hardships that I can't even imagine. That response opens the door for connection with them rather than dismissal of them. So think about it. You know, we really need to be empathetic to the situation. Got a little bit of understanding or maybe a pretty good bit of understanding what's going on. And we understand how we can view that person in two different ways. The next step would be to figure out how we can help, how we can make things better. I think in the case of homelessness and the other things that cause people to become invisible, that the first thing we've got to do is practice mindfulness. We need to be present and aware of those people that are around us. We need to break out of our routine, engaging with people we might usually overlook. It's easy walking down the sidewalk, even if we have time. It's easy to ignore them. It requires us to change what we're doing somewhat if we're going to acknowledge them. If we actually have biases, we need to look at those biases. We need to recognize them. And if we're making assumptions, we need to correct why we're making assumptions. We can take small action that will at least help some. You know, just acknowledging the person's presence, offering help, or maybe just listening to them. This is where the real impact of helping the people happen. You know, we have to. Taking action to make invisible people feel seen and valued is hugely important. So how can we do that, you know, acknowledge and engage with them? That's important. You know, they're unseen because we treat them as just like background noise. A simple shift in our mindset and the actions we take can make a huge difference. We see an invisible person. Let's rephrase that. Let me rephrase. If we see a person, make contact, make eye contact with them and smile, you know, validate their presence. If you're talking about a member of the wait staff, a janitor or security guard, find out their name, ask them their name. Say somebody's waiting at your table, ask them their name, and then from that point forward, remember their name and use it when they come to your table. My wife Brenda and I try to do that all the time. Matter of fact, people she writes down on her phone or in her phone, however you want to say it, in her smartphone. If we go to a particular restaurant multiple times, we decide we like it. So maybe we'll go once a week to that same place or once every couple weeks and a certain person waits on us. We'll get their name and Brenda will actually put their name in her phone with a description of the person. And then the next time we go, if that person walks up, you know, and takes, say our restaurant person normally takes drink order first. So they take the drink order and go to get the drinks. Well, when they come back, in the time period between when they left and they come back, Brenda will look up their name. So when they come back, say their name's Judy. We'll say, thank you, Judy. We really appreciate it. And they really appreciate that. So with homeless people, you know, we can carry some snacks, crackers or cookies, you know, or even if we know we're going into an area, maybe socks or something, you know, we can support a local shelter, find out. Maybe it's a church organization or something. We can support that by making donations or if we're up to it and able, maybe we volunteer to help at the shelter itself maybe once a week or something instead of one of the things. And I think it probably does dehumanize them. But one of the things, instead of just dropping $5 in a tin can or $10 in a can or whatever, look around and if there's a there, ask them if you could buy them a meal. Now, they may not want to go in the place because they may feel embarrassed or whatever. And if they don't offer to, I'll go get you a carry out meal and bring it to you. It'll cost you 15 or 20 bucks. What did you do for that person? How much better are they going to feel when it comes to the elderly? You know, I know a lot of people that go to homes and will visit with them and that's really cool. When it comes to people with disability, one of the biggest things we can do is educate ourselves on the disability, especially non visible ones like depression, autism or chronic illness. I'm going to do a podcast. I don't know when it'll be, probably within the next two or three, maybe even maybe the next. But on autism or people who are autistic, the reason is I have a member of our family that is high functioning autistic and she and I talk a lot and we decided in a conversation that it was something that needed to be addressed and I, I volunteered that I would address it. So I'm working on that one. So you'll hear about that. When it comes to all those people, we should all be advocating for better policies. And when I say that, we have to figure out, we need some help in figuring out what the right thing to do. And I think maybe either volunteering or donating money directly to a local organization is probably better. And the reason I say that is because while I was doing all this research, I found that although the government has put a lot of money into the homeless problem, the problem's not being resolved. Don't know where the money's going, but the problem's not being resolved. Matter of fact, in 2024, I think they spent about a half a billion dollars on the homeless problem. And the number of homeless people went up year to year by 18 cents instead of going down. The only group of people that went down in was the veteran. That group of people that went down and I want to say 10 or 12%, which is good, which is really good. So, you know, if we're going to do something like that, we need to make sure it's going to the right place. And depending on where you live, the local churches run shelters and also a lot of those have local food banks. So either one of those would be a good place to donate money or your time. Here's what I'd like you to do moving forward. I'd like you to challenge yourself to see the invisible people. Here's the challenge. Five person challenge. Each day, make a conscious effort to acknowledge or help five people you might have otherwise overlooked. You don't have to give money, you don't have to just simply acknowledge them, acknowledge they're there. You know, say, hey, how you doing? Whatever. Another thing that works for me because I journal, but is keep a gratitude and awareness journal. Write down in that journal. Write down moments when you notice someone, someone that's probably ignored, been ignored a lot. What you did, how you acknowledged them and what their response was. You can encourage others. If you're going to volunteer somewhere, encourage other members of your family, friends, colleagues at work, you know, involve them in doing that. See if you can get them to also volunteer. Or maybe that Instead of giving $20 a week or $20 a month, you can get each of them to give $20, and your family would wind up giving $1 to a food bank or a shelter. So just think about those things. Just to give you a few stats, in 2024, I told you about a record 18% rise in homelessness. There's about 70. 70. There's about 771,000 people currently homeless in this country. And when you look at the unsheltered homeless versus the homeless that are in shelters, about 40% of those people experience homelessness without any type of shelter. And the odd thing that we don't think about is there's a percentage of the homeless that do have a job. The job may be menial and it doesn't pay enough wages for them to be able to live indoors. How's that? So just think about it. I'll give you an example. When I was traveling a lot, I traveled by myself most of the time. And therefore, when I went to a restaurant, even if it was a nice restaurant, having talked to several friends of mine that were waiters, I found out that, you know, a single table, if four people come in and sit at one table and you sit at another table, they want the four person table because they know they'll get a better tip. So one particular night I went to this Outback steakhouse in Las Vegas. And it had just been open like three or four days and I was by myself, got a nice table, young gentleman waited on me, and he did the absolute best job any waiter I'd had up until then. So when we got all done, he gave me my bill and I got my American Express card out to pay for it. And while when I did that, I asked him, I said, could you get your manager, your manager working right now? And he said, yeah, I said, could you get him to come over here? His first reaction, because remember, he feels like nobody cares, right? He's an invisible person. All he does is wait on you and that's all. And you don't acknowledge him other than when he's at table. And he said, why do you want to talk to my manager? And I. I could tell he was worried, so I told him. I said, don't worry. It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. I just want to compliment him. Compliment you to him. I just want to explain what a great job you did. And so when I told him that, he went and got his manager. And like I said, this place only been open about three or four days. So I told his manager, I said, this guy right here, you need to keep. I said, this guy is a keeper. I said, I'm eating by myself, dining by myself. And he gave me the best service that I've had to today. And I said, I appreciate that. And. And we talked a few minutes, and he said, yeah, he's a good guy and everything. I said, he really is the guy. When the manager left, the guy thanked me and I said, okay. So I had put. Our company would not frown on a 20% tip at all. So I put a 20% tip on the check, and then I laid a $20 bill on top of it, and I walked off. And I just started down the stairs, because it was up a flight of stairs. I just started down the stairs, and this guy comes running after me. And he said, hang on a minute, you gave me too much tip. And I said, no, I didn't. He said, yeah, you put the tip, a 20% tip on the check, and then you gave me a $20 bill. And I said, that's right. I said, the tip is allowed by my company. And I said, but I wanted to tip you more because of the great job you did. So I said, the tip on the check and the $20 bill, both yours. So take care. Have a nice day. He was excited. I don't think that had ever happened to him before. And I'm not telling you that to brag. I'm telling you that because it made a difference in that guy's life, because he was one of those people that was an invisible person. But he did such a great job, I wanted him recognized for it. So things like that will help. Whether it's a person in wait staff, whether it's the nurse at your doctor's office, whether it's a person that you pay for goods at Walmart, whatever it is, by acknowledging those people, you can make their day. You can make them feel better by recognizing that you appreciate the service they provide. So. So think about that. Homeless people, the mentally impacted people, all those people, the wait staff, the people that are doing the janitorial Service people, things like that.
[00:20:47] The bartender, if you go to a bar and have a drink, the bartender now you can say, well, they make a lot of money anyway. Well, they may, because they do get a lot of tips. But it also isn't just that. Every time I've tipped somebody or given them money or whatever, I've been blessed for it. I got a blessing. I felt better about myself. I acknowledged that person and I acknowledged their value. And that's all that's important in this whole thing. That's the whole net of this thing. Acknowledge the people, no matter what their circumstances. Be empathetic with the people and do what's right in your mind. Do the things that need to be done to make them aware that they're appreciated in one way or another. So I guess that's it. Anyway, I want to tell you, if you've got any comments, this podcast shows up not only on the normal podcast sites and stuff, but it's also on my webpage, which is Imaginepossibilities Life. You can go there and there's a comment section. You can go to Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, several other places, and all those allow comments. So you can do that if you want to make a comment, or you can send an email to imagine the possibilities.lifemail.com and I'll get an email at that address and tell me what you think, tell me what I can improve. Tell me something you'd like to hear, you'd like to have me talk about, and I'll be glad to try to work it into the list of podcasts I'm going to do. So, bottom line, I wish you much success. Remember your future belongs to you. Stay humble, be kind, love deeply, and laugh often. I wish each of you a super day and I hope God blesses everyone in a super way. Thanks again. God bless.
