Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] A couple weeks ago, we began a journey.
[00:00:08] A journey of becoming.
[00:00:11] We discovered that success isn't really the journey or the destination.
[00:00:18] Becoming is.
[00:00:22] Since then, I found myself thinking about something.
[00:00:27] We spent our last conversation talking about becoming.
[00:00:32] But before we can become who we're intended to be, maybe we first need to understand who we already are.
[00:00:46] Let's think about that together.
[00:00:50] We spend our lives collecting labels.
[00:00:54] Father, Mother Husband Wife Employee, Boss Retired cancer survivor Christian Podcaster Every one of those labels tells part of our story, but none of them tell the whole story.
[00:01:24] They describe different seasons of our lives, but I'm pretty sure that they don't define who we are.
[00:01:37] When I was growing up, my dad told me something that I've never forgotten.
[00:01:44] He said, I don't care if you become a ditch digger, as long as you try to be the best ditch digger you can be.
[00:01:54] At the time, I thought he was talking about work.
[00:02:00] Looking back, I think he was talking about something much deeper.
[00:02:08] It was the summer before my junior year in high school.
[00:02:12] I wanted to earn some money, so I started looking for a summer job.
[00:02:19] I looked at a lot of different things that were available, and then I thought about the fact that about a half a mile from our house, there was a country club and they were always looking for caddies.
[00:02:35] So one morning I got up, walked across the road, and found the caddyshack.
[00:02:45] I signed up and waited.
[00:02:49] The caddy master looked at me and said, hey, you're about 40th on the list.
[00:02:55] So I realized it could be a while and just sat down and quit paying real attention.
[00:03:03] One by one, the pro shop called for caddies.
[00:03:07] But then one call was different.
[00:03:10] Instead of assigning the next person on the list, the caddie master called out a golfer's name, who wants Bill?
[00:03:22] Nobody answered.
[00:03:24] So he looked over at me, smiled, and said, he's all yours.
[00:03:32] Then, with just a hint of sarcasm, he added, have fun.
[00:03:41] As I was walking to the first tee, I couldn't help but wonder why nobody wanted the caddy for Bill.
[00:03:51] I found out soon enough.
[00:03:55] By the end of the round, he'd hit a couple golf balls in the lake, thrown a club, and literally wrapped another one around a tree.
[00:04:07] When we finished, he asked me to clean his clubs and make sure the pro shop guy put them where they belonged.
[00:04:15] Then he told me to meet him at the bar.
[00:04:19] When I got there, he smiled, looked at me, and said, you did a really good job today.
[00:04:26] Then he paid me very well, more than I expected.
[00:04:32] The next weekend, Bill asked for me.
[00:04:37] Before long he told me not to wait at the caddyshack anymore.
[00:04:41] He asked for my phone number and said he'd call whenever he was coming to play.
[00:04:47] Now I caddied for Bill for nearly three years.
[00:04:52] Along the way, he introduced me to several of his friends and I got to caddy for them too.
[00:04:58] About a year later, Bill shared something with me that I've never forgotten.
[00:05:08] He smiled and said, you know, people think I'm a little crazy out here.
[00:05:13] Then he laughed. I know most of the caddies don't want a caddy for me.
[00:05:20] Then he became serious.
[00:05:22] The golf course is where I let go of the pressure.
[00:05:27] It seems. Bill was the president of a large company and every day people depended on him.
[00:05:35] He had to make huge decisions.
[00:05:41] When Bill told me what he did, I don't think he was trying to explain himself.
[00:05:46] I think he was trusting me with part of his story.
[00:05:53] That conversation stayed with me, not because he was the president of a company, but because somewhere along the way he had stopped seeing me as just his caddy.
[00:06:09] The first time I caddied for Bill was a random event.
[00:06:15] After that, he asked for me.
[00:06:19] Somewhere along the way, our working relationship became a trusted relationship.
[00:06:27] I didn't understand that then, but I think I do now.
[00:06:35] Years passed.
[00:06:37] I had the opportunity to work for or with IBM for 43 years.
[00:06:44] During that time, I wore a lot of different labels.
[00:06:48] Assembly line worker, customer engineer, business show presenter, marketing program manager, and on and on.
[00:06:58] Then, after 30 years, I retired.
[00:07:03] But the story didn't end there.
[00:07:07] A short time after I retired, something truly unexpected happened.
[00:07:13] I received an offer letter from an IBM second level manager.
[00:07:19] Next day, I took the letter and went to see John.
[00:07:23] Before I could say a word, he smiled and said, I know.
[00:07:30] Then he added, I know you can't come back and work for me directly.
[00:07:35] At that time, IBM didn't allow the rehiring of retirees.
[00:07:42] Then he went on to say, but I have a plan.
[00:07:48] He took the letter, walked me down the hall and handed it to the manager of another company that was providing IBM with employees, contract employees.
[00:08:04] And then he said, I want Skip to have everything in this letter.
[00:08:10] It's up to you to make it happen and I want him here tomorrow.
[00:08:16] The guy made it all happen and I showed up the next day.
[00:08:22] I started as a team lead.
[00:08:25] Later I became the site manager and eventually I became a director for the company.
[00:08:34] Now Brenda and I were living in Atlanta and the company decided I could just work from home and I could fly to the accounts that I had Assigned to me. Most of them were IBM accounts.
[00:08:49] Life was good.
[00:08:50] And then one afternoon, the vice president I reported to called.
[00:08:57] He explained that my services were no longer needed.
[00:09:01] He thanked me for everything I'd done.
[00:09:05] And then he took a minute to explain my severance package.
[00:09:10] The whole call took four minutes.
[00:09:13] Now, when I hung up, I think the expectation for most people would be that I was angry, frustrated, whatever the words are.
[00:09:25] But I wasn't.
[00:09:28] I went and found Brenda in the kitchen.
[00:09:31] And I smiled and I said, I guess I'm officially retired again.
[00:09:40] The next morning, I got up, got dressed, had breakfast.
[00:09:46] Then I sat down and smiled again.
[00:09:51] I realized I was exactly the same man I had been the day before.
[00:09:58] The only difference was the title.
[00:10:01] Then another thought crossed my mind.
[00:10:05] I didn't have to drive to Hartsfield Airport in traffic anymore.
[00:10:09] I didn't have to catch another flight.
[00:10:12] And I didn't have to spend another night away from Brenda.
[00:10:18] I figured Delta Airlines and a couple hotel chains might miss me, but somehow I thought they'd manage.
[00:10:27] Then I closed my eyes and I thanked God.
[00:10:34] As I reflected on those years, something else became clear.
[00:10:40] Years earlier, a working relationship had become a trusted relationship.
[00:10:46] It had happened with Bill, and now it had happened again.
[00:10:53] You know, I've been thinking about those two relationships.
[00:10:58] One began on a golf course, the other in the workplace.
[00:11:07] Different seasons, different people.
[00:11:13] But they both taught me the same thing.
[00:11:17] Trust isn't built all at once.
[00:11:20] It grows.
[00:11:22] One conversation, one decision, one day at a time.
[00:11:30] Maybe that's why the titles were never the important part.
[00:11:35] The relationships were.
[00:11:38] And maybe that's because our character as a way of speaking long before we do.
[00:11:46] Over the next couple weeks, find a quiet place somewhere where you won't be distracted.
[00:11:55] Sit on your porch, your patio, or simply in your favorite chair.
[00:12:01] Then ask yourself not what you do or what title you hold.
[00:12:09] Ask yourself, who am I?
[00:12:12] When all those labels are set aside?
[00:12:16] Sit with that question.
[00:12:18] Don't rush to answer.
[00:12:21] Just listen.
[00:12:24] I have a feeling that you might discover something about the person you've been becoming all along.
[00:12:35] You know, if we're beginning to understand who we are, then another question naturally follows.
[00:12:43] Why are we here?
[00:12:47] I think that's where our journey takes us next.
